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Compassionate Choices for the Terminally Ill

Posted 4/12/24

A recent letter concluded with an exhortation “To Be!” This allusion to Shakespeare’s Hamlet was in response to the documentary, Last Flight Home, about a dying man’s choice …

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Compassionate Choices for the Terminally Ill

Posted

A recent letter concluded with an exhortation “To Be!” This allusion to Shakespeare’s Hamlet was in response to the documentary, Last Flight Home, about a dying man’s choice to end the accelerating suffering his terminal illness was causing, moving his death forward perhaps by weeks.

How glib to exhort “To Be!” as though this dying man had the option to live many more years pain-free. While I wholeheartedly agree that “To Be!” is right for one with suicidal thoughts such as Hamlet as he lamented whether “to be or not to be,” Hamlet’s body was not wracked in pain with a terminal illness.

I too watched this documentary at Canton’s UU Church. As one of those “kindly silver-haired citizens of the North Country,” I can attest that we were not “exhorted to self-termination,” but rather shown how the process could unfold which I found meaningful.  Knowing and accepting the end of his life was imminent, this man opened to visits and calls from family and friends who adored him, expressed gratitude, and shared the effects he’d had on their lives. Once this was beautifully complete, and he’d made peace with his God, he chose to go forward with ending his suffering.  

I did not watch the documentary to be “exhorted to self-termination,” and resent Mr. Smith exhorting me “To Be!” no matter my suffering. I went because I want for anyone who would prefer this option to have it.  

My mother died an excruciating death. She had moved to Oregon due to their Death with Dignity Act, but later chose to move back to Nevada and therefore lacked this option when she was dying. Not even Fentanyl was stopping her pain. I would dare Mr. Smith to glibly tell someone like my mother, who was a force to be reckoned with, “To Be!” Knowing her, the look she would have delivered might have shaken his own ability “To Be!”

The Medical Aid in Dying bill before the NYS Assembly is modeled after the Oregon law, a law in effect for 25 years without a single instance of abuse or coercion because of the multiple and redundant built-in safeguards. Should Mr. Smith wish “To Be!” if he is ever in terminal pain, I respect that. I would hope he’d respect someone else’s wish to end suffering.

Ginger Storey-Welch
Colton