To the Editor:

There are many things in life over which we have no control. But choosing to be part of a kind, honest and compassionate world vs. an aggressive, antagonistic, ego-centered world is something most of us do have control over. That decision isn’t dependent upon how much money or education we have or even our upbringing.

I know I’m very fortunate to have grown up in a loving home. There was no violence, sarcasm, swearing or anger. My father was a gentle working-class man who quietly and dutifully served this community and the church. Born on a farm in 1904, he had lived through two World Wars and the Depression before I was even born. That generation (the “Greatest Generation”) believed that a man’s good character meant more than any amount of wealth, power or prestige.     

It may be an old-fashioned idea but I still believe that’s true. How people relate to others reveals a lot about the kind of world they’ve decided to value. 

There are those who volunteer, donate to charities, become social workers, teachers or medical professionals because they believe helping others is a sign of goodness. They don’t posture as righteous church-goers, but do exemplify compassion and open-minded tolerance modeled upon Biblical scripture. Goodness means generously offering comfort and support to everyone around them.

There are those who see the world through combative eyes. They argue to win, bully others to feel superior and find fault with things in general. How their actions affect others doesn’t  concern them. There’s no thought to understanding someone else’s viewpoint. The world is just an arena in which they fight for dominance in opinion and status. When things don’t go their way or they feel criticized, they lash out.

In my memory, our society used to be a kinder, more considerate one. That was before the increase in cut-throat business and politics, commercialized super-competitive sports and 24/7 profit-driven media consuming our time and dictating our preferences. We’re more apt to be ego-focused and detached from personal interactions, community involvement and civic responsibility. 

However, we don’t have to be victims of these shifts in our culture. We can demonstrate what we value. Do our actions mirror increased aggression, negativity and harmful behavior toward others? Or do we promote kindness and respectful understanding among fellow human beings? It’s up to each of us to make that decision about how we relate to others.

Martha Hodges

Massena