To the Editor:

Friendly limousine driver Lloyd Christmas, stomach aflutter and confusing genders, asks beautiful socialite Mary Swanson, “What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?”

“Not good,” Mary softly responds.

“Not good like one out of a hundred?” Lloyd asks.

“I’d say more like one out of a million.”

Lloyd processes Mary’s answer before shouting with glee, “So you’re telling me there’s a chance!”

Back in what I’m not so sure is the real world, during this past 4th of July weekend on the St. Lawrence River in Alexandria Bay and waterways around the nation, boaters paraded in groups flaunting Trump flags and banners. You wouldn’t think Trump flotillas would bring to mind comedy classic Dumb and Dumber, but they do. Lloyd Christmas, like millions of similarly cerebral but far less lovable MAGA Americans, cannot face reality. Mary Swanson, despite her friendly demeanor, does not love Lloyd Christmas. And America, despite its countless MAGA flags, does not love Donald Trump.

Trumpers need to learn that data is not the plural of anecdote. I get it, Mr. MAGA, you live in rural America, your friends like Trump, you go to Alex Bay and see Trump flotillas, your anti-Biden Facebook posts from QAnon get countless likes, and you turn on the TV and watch FOX News and Newsmax and see thousands of your likeminded mask-less compatriots jam packed into airport hangars for Trump superspreader rallies. Everyone you know except your brainwashed college nephew likes Trump. There’s no way he could’ve lost to Biden!

Except he did. Roughly 81 million Americans voted for Biden. That’s 7 million more than Trump’s 74 million. The only reason it was even slightly close is the Electoral College, which is just affirmative action for conservative white people. Biden supporters are every bit as American as MAGA voters, and they are a lot more diverse and representative of the full American populace, even if the EC structurally values them less.

Trump, refusing to accept reality, keeps shouting election “fraud,” and keeps getting his frivolous legal challenges swatted away by judges he picked, including all three of his Supreme Court appointees.

What are the chances Trump’s coup attempt works, one in a hundred? I’d say more like one in a million, to which I’m sure Trump and his delusional base would say, “So you’re telling us there’s a chance!”

Sean Pidgeon

Morristown