To the Editor:

Dear Jimmy Lawton,

Thanks so much for your May 26,2023 article "We Can't Stay Silent on Suicide". Your message is much needed and on target.

My son Brandon died by suicide in December 2021 as a freshman at Paul Smith’s College and was loved by all. He was 17 when he graduated Amity HS in Connecticut and just turned 18, a couple of months before his death.

He was a kind, loving, compassionate, and beautiful young man that was so excited for his adventures at Paul Smith’s College. He was our greatest and proudest achievement and our greatest loss. We would have never thought in a million years that this could happen.

Within the short 6-month span, he experienced major life changes and loss. Although many changes are basic normal life challenges, he was not prepared or aware of the feelings that accompanied these changes to understand and safely navigate these emotional challenges. He did not understand his emotions or what he was feeling nor how to verbalize it. He seemed fine and well adjusted. However, he was not. He hid it well.

In retrospect, he was dealing with loss and grief but did not know how to cope, did not reach out, and did not have an emotional safety plan to ride the inevitable storms of life. We were so focused on the physical safety and prevention plans but did not prepare him with an emotional safety plan.

Following Brandon’s death, the school and student body created The Brandon Jarvis Memorial Fund for Student Mental & Emotional Health. This fund supports services and programs for students. The school also created and implemented a curriculum for new first year students to educate them on mental & emotional health awareness, coping skills, and provide an emotional safety plan. They recently had their PSC Mental Health Week (4/10-4/15) and I commend the staff and students on how they passionately developed, led, and drove events to bring awareness, provide tools, remove stigma, and create a safe space for students to speak up, share and connect. The student driven events were very powerful in leading cultural change. The intent is to create and refine a program to establish “best practice” for our students and share with other colleges and high schools in the future.

By sharing and not being silent, it helped to normalize the conversation, remove stigma, and create a safe space where students at PSC and other schools were comfortable enough to reach out for help. Parents told how sharing Brandon’s story and the lessons learned was helpful for them to see things in a different perspective, to have the difficult conversations with their children, and to not take anything at face value based on what appears to be fine. A social worker friend expressed her gratitude when her son went through similar life experiences as Brandon and seemed perfectly okay like Brandon. Remembering Brandon’s story, she pressed her son, asked questions, and peeled back the layers to discover that he was not well and admittedly needed help to cope with his emotions and life challenges. Many have and will benefit from breaking the silence and removing the stigma surrounding mental & emotional health.

So, I thank you for your message. Creating a safe space, speaking up, sharing, and providing awareness and tools, are critical steps to help prevent suicide and save lives. PSC is doing just that in memory of Brandon so that no other friend or family has to experience this type of tragedy. Your message and article help to support this cause and is greatly appreciated.

PSC MH Week on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRwyrdXC/

The Brandon Jarvis Memorial Fund for Student Mental & Emotional Health - Paul Smiths College of Arts and Sciences

Sandra Jarvis,
Bethany, Conn.