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Opinion: Grocery stores, restaurants much safer than gyms, says Morristown man

Posted 8/14/20

I drove by my local gym recently and decided to stop and read the note on the door, only to be disappointed by the following incredibly juvenile message: “Remember: You apparently can only get …

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Opinion: Grocery stores, restaurants much safer than gyms, says Morristown man

Posted

I drove by my local gym recently and decided to stop and read the note on the door, only to be disappointed by the following incredibly juvenile message:

“Remember: You apparently can only get COVID-19 by working out at a Gym, going to the Movies or shopping at a Mall.

• The Virus does not attack people that are drinking at Bars or eating at restaurants.

• It does not attack during protests, riots, or looting.

• The Virus cannot get to you if you’re shopping at a grocery store.

We will be open as soon as the Emperor gives us the OK.”

Apparently my gym is run by Trumpers. The note is replete with the signature random capitalization of common nouns. I thought I’d be able to avoid such corny memes when I deactivated Facebook (aka 4Chan for Baby Boomers) 17 months ago.

This gym note is obviously not intended to be taken seriously, but I’ll pretend and play along. Nobody believes bars, restaurants, grocery stores, or outdoor protests are completely safe. Bars and restaurants probably shouldn’t have opened, but that doesn’t mean we should make more mistakes and open other dangerous places.

Grocery stores actually are safer. There’s a difference between getting in and out of a grocery store to gather necessities versus spending an elongated time period in an indoor gym, sweating and pushing out heavily panted breaths in enclosed air.

The Black Lives Matter protesters overwhelmingly wear masks and congregate outside, and they are working to save lives. BLM protests are worldwide, yet it’s America alone among advanced nations spiking in cases.

If you want to blame anyone for gyms not opening, don’t blame Governor Cuomo, the snarkily referenced “Emperor” above. Blame the other states that haven’t controlled the virus. And blame our fellow ignorant, selfish Americans who refuse to wear masks in public.

President Trump, if you’re reading this (which you’re not, because you don’t read), sell some campaign masks. Really! Give your supporters the slogans they want. “Trump 2020,” “MAGA,” “I Heart FOX News,” “14 Words with Tucker Carlson.” If you provide the masks, they’ll wear them. And then maybe the United States can stop being the world’s pariah and us non-Trumpers who want to get some culture can once again use our passports and drive over the bridge to Canada or fly to Europe.

Sean Pidgeon

Morristown